It’s Not Their Character, It’s Their Behavior
September 14, 2010 · Posted in Communication, Discipline, K-5 Kids, Parenting, Preschoolers · Permalink

Raising children is the most emotional work you will do. When your children act up, act out, or go through a new stage it is hard not to equate that behavior with their whole personality. Mothers of young toddlers testing limits will say, “She’s so manipulative all of a sudden. “A preschooler who is clingy in the first weeks of school’s parent will say, “He’s a totally different child, he’s usually so confident.” The parent of a sulky teenager will lament, “He’s such negative person!” It is so hard to keep perspective that these new phases or behaviors are just that — behaviors. They are not your child’s character, they are not even their whole self at this time.  They are parts of your children. A curious mischievous part, a worried part in need of reassurance, a solitary part that wants privacy.

No one part of our child defines them. We just have an easier time with the parts of them that are gratifying and not challenging.  The reactions to negative behaviors can be kept in perspective when we remember that we WANT our children to show us all the parts of themselves. That way we can help the parts that are struggling rather than try to stamp them out.

Bookmark and Share
Buy Our Book, 'A Mother's Circle'
Facebook  RSS

Warning: mysql_query(): No such file or directory in /nfs/c07/h05/mnt/180010/domains/sohoparenting.com/html/blog/wp-content/plugins/quickstats/quickstats.php on line 345

Warning: mysql_query(): A link to the server could not be established in /nfs/c07/h05/mnt/180010/domains/sohoparenting.com/html/blog/wp-content/plugins/quickstats/quickstats.php on line 345

Warning: mysql_query(): No such file or directory in /nfs/c07/h05/mnt/180010/domains/sohoparenting.com/html/blog/wp-content/plugins/quickstats/quickstats.php on line 346

Warning: mysql_query(): A link to the server could not be established in /nfs/c07/h05/mnt/180010/domains/sohoparenting.com/html/blog/wp-content/plugins/quickstats/quickstats.php on line 346

Warning: mysql_fetch_row() expects parameter 1 to be resource, boolean given in /nfs/c07/h05/mnt/180010/domains/sohoparenting.com/html/blog/wp-content/plugins/quickstats/quickstats.php on line 346