Divorced? Feeling You Have a Scarlet D?
July 1, 2010 · Posted in Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Separation/Divorce · Permalink

scarletHere is some sensitivity training about divorce. To say divorce is provocative is an understatement.  Though approximately 40% of couples divorce, people experiencing divorce can still feel like an outcast. It is common for friends or acquaintances to fade away and seem uncomfortable around you – as if it were catchy.  Married friends are often frightened by separation. “If that could happen to you maybe that could happen to me,” clangs in their heads. Out of this insecurity some friends feel compelled to wax on about how great their marriage is, lessening their capacity to be supportive.

On the other hand, your divorce may cause jealousy. Your new freedom, a sense of liberation and empowerment, new romantic partners – it’s enough to drive a moderately unhappily married friend insane. Those people may want to live vicariously through you, or judge you because of the way your new life makes them look at their own.

There are of course, friends who are there through thick and thin and can manage their reactions. Acquaintances can surprise you with incredible empathy and support.  So remember, for the divorced and married alike — try not to judge and be aware of your reactions.  Life takes unexpected turns and if we can support each other the journey is much, much easier.

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Comments

  1. kcf
    July 2nd, 2010 | 9:50 pm

    …much much easier, and friends on both side of the divorced/married coin stand to learn something about themselves.

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