Make The Big Picture, Little.
May 18, 2010 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Pressure on Children, Relationships, Work/Family Balance · Permalink

In the last year the most used piece of advice I have given is this – ‘The little things matter.’  The walk on the way to school, eggs together at the diner, the conversations at bath time – all of these seemingly simple activities mean so much in your relationship with your child.

Parents are sadly bombarded with pressure about which school, what activities, feeding only breast milk-the list goes on and on. Many get a skewed sense of what is important about being a parent and get caught up in the sweeping tide of anxiety about over achievement for their children and for themselves. They will admit, “I spend more time pumping when I get home from work than hanging with the baby, I have to get the milk.” “I leave the bath to the babysitter so I can check my email when I get home so I am not over-run with work when I get into the office the next morning.” Or “I spent every night in the last two weeks working on the school auction, I want her to see how dedicated I am to her school.” The frantic energy and the desire to do a good job is palpable.

We are on the wrong path here. The culture is pushing us to ignore the little things. Small opportunities for closeness with your child, looking at the world with them, just being. The big busy picture means nothing to them. And when you slow down and take time to think about it–it isn’t that important to you either.

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Comments

  1. Ruth Rama-Witt
    May 18th, 2010 | 10:43 am

    Oh Lisa and Jean – your wisdom as mothers and therapists continues to inspire me! We currenty live in LA and I will never forget the experience of the new mothers group in 2007! This blog is so wonderful because it makes me feel as if I’m still a part of SHP! I miss you Lisa!
    Ruth and Bailey (3yo!) Witt

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