Take the Judgement out of Parenting
October 20, 2009 · Posted in Parenting · Permalink

KarmaCop-311x322As parents we need all the support, reassurance and comfort we can get. In the trenches of a child’s tantrums, bratty behavior, school difficulties, or even more serious struggles like autism or mental health issues, we often feel ashamed and worry about what people are thinking or saying about us and our child.

Unfortunately, we all can be judgmental and competitive in our parenting.  How often have you thought, “That would never happen to us,” or “My kids would never do that!”  In reality – do we ever really know that? No. We don’t. It is often the fear that we or our children will suffer or struggle that ironically translates as self-satisfied smugness when things are going smoothly.

You can either hold on to a false sense of security and judge others – or you can cultivate an environment of empathy and camaraderie with other parents by using the mantra, “If it isn’t my kid now it might be someday.” So, when someone else’s child throws sand in the sandbox, is painfully shy at the start of school, or is socially awkward, remember to be humble and feel for the family that is struggling rather than use their pain to feel self-righteous.

The truth is that all of our children will struggle at some time and all of us will be worried, confused and afraid of scorn from others. Make it a point to practice empathy rather than judgement. It will go a long way.

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Comments

  1. AJ
    December 27th, 2009 | 3:55 pm

    Thank you for posting this and you couldn’t have had better timing with the holidays and family surrounding us – someone is always judging. It is even more sad when it is your family. And the Karma Police picture – love it! Thank you – you made me feel better!

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