A Nest of One’s Own
August 20, 2009 · Posted in Adult Children, Parenting · Permalink

met_nestEmpty-nester? Why define one’s status by what is not there? Yes, my last little chick is about to go off to college. Yes, this is the first time in twenty three years that my daily life will not revolve around what is going on with my children.  While I am sure there will be pangs of missing her and feeling out of sorts, I am very excited for this next stage. I want to feel the spaciousness, not the emptiness. I want to hear new sounds in the quiet.

I can remember the weeks and days before I had my first daughter. I had an intense drive to clean, organize, needlepoint–nest. I am having the same feelings in the weeks before the birth of this new phase. I have an intense urge to rearrange, redo and prepare my nest once again. Maybe I am not sad because I know that all the v-chats, texts, emails and calls will keep us connected. Maybe it’s because I am excited and hopeful about her new chapter.  Maybe, because after all this intense focus on my children I am ready to be fully in charge of my own time. The freedom to make whatever plans I want, work when I want, study new things. Settle into this nest of my own. Or maybe I am in denial. Stay tuned.

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Comments

  1. J.L.S.
    August 20th, 2009 | 4:43 pm

    As a mother who sent her last child off to college last weekend, thank you for this reminder that my nest isn’t ’empty’, but rather completely new and different and for the first time in 25 years, my own.

  2. Christy
    August 22nd, 2009 | 9:48 am

    Sweet post, but I can’t even begin to imagine being at that phase!

  3. Molly
    August 22nd, 2009 | 9:49 am

    That seems like light years away!

  4. KCF
    August 22nd, 2009 | 11:45 am

    Enjoy enjoy enjoy!

  5. Lydia
    August 26th, 2009 | 6:02 pm

    I think the feelings leading up to my last child going off to college were so intense – and then – when it happened – I was so happy for her – and felt so good about myself – so that I really enjoyed my free life. I felt it was a significanyt achievement that I had sent both my children off to school – happy in their new life – which made me happy. It is a wonderful time in your life – and should be embraced as a new phase and personal growth.-

  6. Lydia
    August 26th, 2009 | 6:03 pm

    I think the feelings leading up to my last child going off to college were so intense – and then – when it happened – I was so happy for her – and felt so good about myself – so that I really enjoyed my free life. I felt it was a significant achievement that I had sent both my children off to school – happy in their new life – which made me happy. It is a wonderful time in your life – and should be embraced as a new phase and personal growth.-

  7. August 30th, 2009 | 7:22 pm

    Somehow I do not feel like an empty nester. My life is quite full. Yes Todd, 26 has been on his own for years and Samara, 20, is a Jr. in College, but I am appreciative of being invited into their lives yes via text,calls, lunches, dinners and vacations. It’s a wonderful experience to have your adult children choose to spend quality time with you. Guess we did something right here.
    I think having a private psychotherapy practice, doing Talk TV and radio has kept me filled in my career. Starting a blog on coaching Moms of teen daughters will be fulfilling as well.
    Having a wonderful engaging husband keeps me on my toes as well.
    It’s a great time in one’s life to see your children pressing forward with faith and confidence in their own lives as well.
    Ask Arden http://www.askarden.com

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